I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
porn star boner night. come get it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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