Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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