I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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