Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
