Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
