she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
