he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
