I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Randomize
