I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
