I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize