Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
