you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize