My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
In other news, I just burned my penis
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
