I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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