After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Still dying that you shit outside
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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