"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
