If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
