you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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