i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
