Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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