Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize