the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
