driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
