its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
