Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
you will always have a special place in my vag
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
