I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
