I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
