I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
