she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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