I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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