Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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