y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
So many bounce houses so little time
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Randomize
