we have pet lesbian snakes
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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