is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
