I'm drive I can fine osifer
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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