I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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