i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
