Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
