i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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