I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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