quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize