why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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