so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Green mimosas i think yes
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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