Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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