i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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