i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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