dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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