So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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