I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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