I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
