Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
4 words: hood of his car
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
