Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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