Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
