I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Boobs are out for the taking
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
