I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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