even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
