We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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