So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You need a sexual gate keeper
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
