God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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