I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize