hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
