just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize