The maid of honor just puked.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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