i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize