Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I had to cum in my sink.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
