You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
