I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize