I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
