and you said cock pushups were impossible
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
