Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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